I understand almost nothing my two year-old son Julian says. This makes for some awkward circumstances. Over the last week, for instance, he has been pointing at different people and earnestly calling them a “Fu#@er”.
Except he used a “ck” instead of a “#@”.
I moved quickly to stamp out this behavior because a) it was the correct thing to do from a parenting perspective, and b) if I don’t get to call people fu#@ers, he doesn’t get to call them fu#@ers.
Fair is fair, dammit.
I had reprimanded Julian maybe 20 times before my wife explained to me that Julian was saying, “finger” not “fu#@er”. And he wasn’t actually pointing; he was just displaying his finger.
Imagine my chagrin. I felt like a total finger.