To That Radical Conservative Guy on Facebook

Since President Obama clinched a second term as President, you have been flooding the the Web sites I frequent with angry tirades condemning liberals, threatening to leave the country and advising Republican lawmakers to block any measures that Obama tries to implement. Once or twice, you’ve even flirted with calls for insurrection.
Because I’m a liberal who values conservative viewpoint - even radical ones - I’d like to explain how this makes us liberals feel by using a metaphor.
It’s like the United States of America is a giant, proud Viking ship that recently escaped a humongous, cataclysmic whirlpool that threatened to engulf the entire ship. Quick thinking by our recently-promoted captain managed to steer us out of immediate danger, but the ship is really not that far away from the whirlpool.

Further complicating matters is the fact that almost the entire right side of our ship doesn’t like our captain because they believe that he is not a Viking, but a Visigoth pretending to be a Viking. Because of this, many on the right side of our ship refuse to row at all and instead spend their time complaining that the ship is only going in circles.

Meanwhile, the vicious whirlpool continues to draw us back toward our doom.

So, when we liberals see you on Facebook complaining about how our election process is flawed because it didn’t give you the result you wanted, we don’t get mad. We’ve been defeated enough to understand how bitter the feeling is. And when we hear you call us ignorant because we don’t agree with you, we’ll try not to be offended. We will even sit passively as some of your brethren say some clearly racist things.

You know why?
Because, above all else, we just want you to fucking start rowing.